Getting a divorce is not something most people consider lightly. This is especially true when children are involved. There are many studies that show how damaging divorce can be to children if the parents are not careful. Some parents choose to stay together “for the sake of the kids.” However, that’s not the choice for everyone.
It’s important to realize that your children can transition well into post-divorce life. Their feelings shouldn’t be brushed aside with, “It’s okay.” Encourage your children to express their own emotions, even if it means they might cry themselves into a puddle or become angry and frustrated. However, as a parent, you also need to realize that you have to heal after a divorce as well.
Without support, it can be a difficult journey. Don’t simply keep your own emotions hidden in the hope that your children will never see what the divorce really did to you. Instead, realize that emotions, changes and adjustments are needed by both you and your children.
Children don’t need to live in the biggest houses or have all the latest electronics. They need to know that both parents love them and that the divorce was not their fault. They need boundaries, not far-reaching freedom. Consistency makes them feel safe and secure, which is very important.
Consistent routines, security, boundaries and your unconditional love are what your children need. If you are providing these things, then your children are on their way to becoming well-adjusted, resilient children who will know that you are there for them.
You and your children may want to engage in family therapy sessions in Connecticut to help all of you adjust to your new lives. Your divorce attorney will likely be able to recommend a therapist that will meet your needs.
Source: Huffington Post, “Yes, It’s Possible To Divorce Without Ruining Your Kids’ Lives,” Feb. 09, 2016
