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Divorce is not all about the adults

When couples make a decision to divorce, it is usually about the adults. Once the decision is made, thinking about how it will affect the children usually comes next.

Most people will tell you that it is not healthy for children when parents stay together if they no longer love one another. But there are many couples who have done just that and put divorce on hold until their children were grown and out of the house. While that seems like a selfless decision to make, if it means the children's security will be preserved, and the home is a healthy, respectful environment, it may be worth the investment.

Each situation is different, and only you can make the decision. Consider the negatives and positives for your children before making a decision about divorce.

For instance, your children will not get to spend as much time with each parent. Going to bed at night in a one-parent home may affect their sense of security. If the children are close to both parents, they may experience a sense of loss, and if one parent is grieving, the children will also experience those feelings of grief.

On the other hand, if there is fighting and tension in the home, the children may find relief from being removed from that situation. If the parents are unhappy in the home and their unhappiness is affecting everyone, divorce might be the best decision.

If you and your spouse divorce, will the children's financial stability be affected? Picture the type of home and lifestyle your children will have growing up in a two-parent home versus a one-parent home. Are you and your spouse going to be able to provide for the children financially, or will their lifestyle be dramatically lowered? Will you have to work more hours to support your home, leaving the children to fend for themselves more?

If a divorce is on the horizon in your household, it may not be all doom and gloom for your children, but their lives will be dramatically changed. Considering those changes prior to making your decision is important. If divorce is the final decision, your attorney can help you find ways to work out agreements regarding child custody and child support. The goal is to plan a healthy future for both you and your children.

Source: DivorceMagazine.com, "3 Negative Effects Divorce Can Have on Children," Sam Bone, Dec. 18, 2017

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