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You don't need to confide in your children during divorce

You do need to break the news to your children if you decide to get divorced. You do need to answer their questions, and be honest with them. That's a conversation you and your spouse want to prepare for.

That said, you do not need to confide in them. You don't need to put them in the middle of everything. You don't need to give them all of the details. Most of all, you do not want to try to force them to pick sides, choosing between you and your spouse.

Why not? It's extremely hard for the kids. It can make them feel anxious, scared, frustrated, angry, confused and lost. It doesn't matter how old they are. One young woman said that both of her parents started confiding in her when they were splitting up, assuming she was old enough to be involved, and she wound up having full-blown panic attacks because of it.

Remember, your goal for the divorce should be to make it as easy on the children as you can. They should be your main focus. Their best interests should come first. When you start setting up a custody schedule or working on a parenting agreement, nothing is more important than making sure the children feel loved and supported. Never do anything that impedes that process.

As you and your spouse do move forward with the divorce, take the time to consider what would really be in your children's best interests, what type of child custody agreement puts them first and what legal rights you both have as parents.

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