After a divorce, the roles that parents have in their children's lives are going to change. It's inevitable. They have to split up parenting time and obligations.
Post-divorce life is bound to be different for your children. No matter what your custody plan looks like, things are going to change. Relationships are going to shift. There's just no way around this.
When determining how you want to set up your child custody schedule, it's important to consider what you can do to build a solid routine for your kids. It's very important to them. If they don't get it, they can feel anxious and unsettled.
After a divorce, you may feel tempted to tone down the rules you give your child or children. You'll want to let them get away with more -- staying up past their bedtime, for instance -- because you know that the divorce is stressful for them. You think that relaxing the rules a bit will help them adjust.
Your spouse files for divorce, and the two of you almost instantly start arguing about custody of the kids. You both want them to live with you.
If you end up going to court over your child custody rights, you know that the judge should not be biased against you based on your gender, race, age or any other such factors. For instance, the judge should not give preference to your ex because she is a woman and you are a man. Both parents deserve to have time with their children.
Young children often do not want to move, do not understand why they have to move and do not think of the new house as their actual home.
The only person who has a relationship with your child that comes anywhere near your own may be your child's teacher. They spend all day together, five days a week, and the power and authority dynamics can be similar.
After your divorce, you and your ex plan to share custody of the children. You are well aware that means you will not see them as often as you used to. They may spend every other week with your ex. You may see them just over the weekends. It depends on the specifics of your schedule, but the fact of the matter is that you have less time together.
When you think of children being abducted, odds are that you think of news reports about strangers luring them into vehicles and kidnapping them. While this certainly does happen, do not assume that's the only way it occurs. A lot of abductions are actually carried out by family members, specifically the parents of children after a divorce.