Is collaborative divorce an option for your family?

On Behalf of | Sep 9, 2021 | Divorce |

Divorce and litigation are synonymous to many people. After all, television shows and movies almost exclusively depict divorce as a dramatic court battle. While couples do often need the intervention of the family courts, not every divorce in Connecticut involves litigation.

Yes, every divorce must go through the family court for approval, but only those who cannot resolve their issues on their own have to turn over control about the outcome to a judge. Many couples considering divorce will now first look into alternative dispute resolution systems.

Collaborative divorce can be an efficient and empowering way for couples to settle property division, support and custody matters outside of court. Would collaborative divorce be an option for your family?

Collaborative divorce works for those willing to compromise

Divorce is not a situation where one person wins over the other, but winning is often the goal that people have when they litigate. They want the courts to somehow punish their ex, whether it means depriving them of financial resources or reducing their access to the children.

That kind of attitude will not work in collaborative divorce. You and your ex need to think realistically about what you need and hope for in the divorce process. You and your ex can sit down together or have your attorneys communicate directly to work out the details of an appropriate and fair settlement.

If everyone reaches an agreement about how to split your property and parenting time, then you can sign an agreement confirming all of those details and move forward with an uncontested divorce.

Is collaborative divorce ever a mistake?

Working together is a great option for the vast majority of couples, especially those who share minor children. The scorched-earth tactics often used in divorce litigation can make it hard for people to rebuild a healthy co-parenting relationship after an acrimonious divorce.

However, there are some couples for whom collaborative divorce may not be a good solution. Those who have endured significant abuse during the marriage may have a hard time advocating for themselves even if they don’t have to be physically present with their ex in the room. In cases where it seems like one spouse has attempted to hide assets, collaborative divorce may not be the best approach either.

For most other couples, trying to work together can be a better solution than giving up control and asking a judge to handle all of the major decisions. Thinking carefully about your dynamic with your ex can help you determine if a collaborative approach to divorce would work for you.