Divorce is challenging for everyone in a family. Parents have to address numerous practical issues, including a sudden change in housing and parental responsibilities. They have to learn how to share custody and communicate with one another despite the massive changes to their relationship with one another.
They also need to provide support for their children, who may become traumatized by the divorce proceedings. Parental divorce often has a profound negative impact on the mental health of children. Frequently, the divorce of their parents is the first real trauma that they experience.
One of the ways that the emotional disruption of divorce manifests is through declining academic performance. What can parents do to limit the emotional toll that divorce has on their children and therefore the impact it has on their schooling?
Keeping things stable
The more changes children have to adjust to, the harder it may be for them to adapt. Whenever possible, it is best to keep them in the same house, neighborhood and school district. Parents should try to maintain the same basic schedules. Establishing consistent rules and expectations at both houses can also be helpful. Children usually thrive with structure. If they know what to expect and what is expected from them, they may have an easier time adapting to their changed living circumstances.
Limiting conflict
It is only natural for divorcing spouses to disagree with one another on various details. However, parents can keep their disagreements private. They should avoid arguing in front of the children or telling the children about their disagreements. They should also avoid making their children feel like messengers or spies. Children should not have to take sides in parental conflict. Ideally, they shouldn’t even know when their parents disagree.
Communicating with educators
Teachers and support professionals at educational institutions can offer key forms of support to children experiencing changes in their families. In some cases, teachers aware of the changes in the child’s family may be more proactive about advising parents about perceived social issues or changes in academic performance. Parents may also need to check their children’s grades and be more assertive about ensuring their children remain engaged at their schools. In some cases, it may be necessary to look into counseling services or local support groups to provide children with an opportunity to process their emotions.
Parents who make their children a priority during a divorce may be able to limit the negative impact the process inspires. Establishing appropriate terms for shared custody and attempting to work cooperatively can make it easier for parents to limit the academic and emotional consequences of their divorce.
