If you’re contemplating a divorce and you have children, chances are you have worried about how they will deal with it. You’ve heard the stories about one parent making the children hate the other parent with their remarks — you might have even made remarks quite like those. One woman, who is currently studying to become a marriage and family therapist, was 8 when her parents divorced. Here’s what she took away from that day on:
The woman said her mother told her that she and her father wouldn’t be living together anymore. Her dad walked in as she screamed and cried. It was the first time she saw her dad cry. While custody originally went to her mother, she and her sister eventually went to live with her father for the remainder of her childhood.
Even though she was only 8, it didn’t take her long to become her sister’s protector, who was only 6. She felt as though she grew up much more quickly than other children her own age. While the divorce made her who she is today, it’s been a struggle to not give up, which the divorce made her want to do later on.
Today, her relationships with her parents are different. Her father is still a consistent and stable force in her life. Her mother is not as close to her as her father is, but she knows that her mother gave her the best parts of herself.
She wants couples who are divorced to be honest with their children, because they see and know more than most adults give them credit for. She also said that children need to be in therapy. If that is something you want for your children to help them deal with divorce, then your family law attorney may be able to provide some recommendations.
Source: Huffington Post, “My parents’ divorce made me who I am today,” Brittany Wong, Nov. 17, 2015