You’ve probably heard a lot of myths and cliches about marriage. You may wonder how much of what you have heard is actually true. Here are some of the most common myths about marriage and why couples therapists say you should ignore them.
— Love is all you need. Yes, you need love, but in spite of what movie and pop songs tell us, there is a lot more needed in marriage than just love. A few other important factors include respect, good communication skills, acceptance, compatibility and humility.
— Never go to bed angry. This is such a common myth. Not every problem a couple has can be solved within a day. Sometimes, it’s just better to go to bed and try again in the morning.
— Marriage is 50/50. Marriage isn’t a compromise and you shouldn’t be keeping track of which spouse is doing more. Your spouse may have problems that require you to carry him or her for a while or vice versa.
— Opposites attract. This is often true and can keep the marriage exciting in the beginning. However, those differences can eventually cause conflict. When you attempt to learn what your spouse wants from and feels for you, it can lead to a more complete relationship.
— After marriage, sex stops. The opposite is actually true. When couples are in a long-term relationship, they report having more sex than those who are single.
— Your marriage will be fine once you have a baby. This is thought to bring spouses closer together, but children will only exacerbate whatever is already going on in the relationship. There’s a great deal of stress that comes with a baby and it can lead to disagreement and resentment.
These are just a few myths about marriage. In some cases, divorce is the only option. An experienced family law attorney can help you determine your next move.
Source: Huffington Post, “8 Things You’ve Been Taught About Marriage That Are Totally Wrong,” Brittany Wong, July 14, 2016